Phone Home

I had been dating Alesha for a couple of months in the fall of 2005. I was traveling to New Jersey every week, but Alesha and I still managed to talk to each other every day. There was one problem; you should have seen our phone bill! Although I sincerely believe that she is worth a $200 phone bill every month, I think both of us felt that our money could be better spent elsewhere.

The solution was simple: one of us could switch phone carriers. That way we could get free phone-to-phone minutes. After all, Alesha was on the Verizon network so she could talk to her family so she could do just that. I was not happy with my Sprint cell phone service to begin with, so it wasn't a tough decision to pay the $180 early-contract-termination fee and switch services. At the rate we were spending money, it would pay for itself the first month.

At that point in time, there were several things I wanted in a phone. I was tired of maintaining a contact list of phone numbers on my computer, on the internet, and on my cell phone. A smart phone was the answer; I could enter names and addresses into my computer, then synchronize them with the touch of a button. As an added feature, I could have a calendar and keep lists inside my phone. I had earlier tried using a PDA, but I never took it with me. I figured that this would force me to carry it with me.

That's when I got my phone. It was big and clunky. Alesha never liked using it. I usually had to explain to people how to use it. It had a speaker phone, but it was difficult to use. But it was a smart phone. I enjoyed it and used it and all was good.

I got home today and wanted to call Alesha. As I went to turn on my phone, I found out that it was dead. Switching out the battery didn't help. It was time to get a new phone. No problem. I evaluated what I wanted in a phone, did some research, and selected a model. Best of all, it was "free" with a two-year contract.

And here's where the story gets interesting. I didn't want to wait to get the phone in the mail; who knew if we'd be here when the mail gets here? Instead we went to the Verizon store. He could give us the phone, but the rebate part would have to be a mail-in rebate. I abhor mail-in rebates. He recommended that we order it online. He assured us that shipping is only one to two days. So we went home to order it.

And the Internet order didn't work. I kept getting the following message:

Upgrade your phone
Your request cannot be completedYour request failed and cannot be completed online. Please contact Customer Service for additional information at 1.800.922.0204.

So I called customer care on Alesha's phone. I waited 5 minutes. Someone picked up and asked for my name and the last four digits of my social security number. I explained the problem. They transfered me. I waited 5 minutes. Someone picked up and asked for my name and the last four digits of my social security number. I explained the problem. They transfered me. I waited 5 minutes. Someone picked up and asked for my name and the last four digits of my social security number. I explained the problem. They started to transfer me when Alesha's phone died. I got frustrated and went to eat dinner. Alesha makes a wonderful enchilada.

So I called customer care on Alesha's phone. I waited 5 minutes. "Karen" picked up and asked for my name and the last four digits of my social security number. I explained the problem. "Karen" transfered my call. I waited 5 minutes. "Brittany" picked up and asked for my name and the last four digits of my social security number. I explained the problem. They see my ticket that was opened last time. Brittany asked me what browser I'm using. I told her Firefox. She told me to use Internet Explorer. I logged in and went to upgrade my phone. I got the same problem. She says she's going to get me in touch with someone who can ship my phone and waive the shipping fee. I waited 5 minutes. "Brittany" had me talk to "Steve" while she stayed on the line. Steve asked me for the last four digits of my social security number. Steve said that he could absolutely help me, but we'd have to use a mail-in rebate.

I explained to "Steve" that the whole reason I'm doing this is to avoid a mail-in rebate. He said that we could either use the mail-in rebate or try to fix the Internet connection. I opt for the latter. "Steve" asked for "Brittany"... who is nowhere to be found. After a few awkward moments, "Brittany" came back on the line. She insisted that there can't be anything wrong; it has to be my computer. I almost told her that I probably knew more about her computer system and website than she did, but I bit my tongue. She had me try on a different computer. I go to Alesha's computer and talked her through the process step-by-step. I got halfway through, and she thought that the problem was solved. I had to tell her not to hang up. I got the same error message. She tried it on her computer... and she said "Oh, this is a technical problem on our end. I'll have to open a ticket." She put me on hold for 5 minutes. She came back to tell me that she's opened a ticket. She gave me a ticket number and told me to call back in when they fix the error, in 3 to 5 days.

I'm going to the Verizon store tomorrow to pick up my phone.